I’ve been thinking lately about community. We live in a very independent culture. The classic kiwi DIY attitude is alive and well in the 21st century! But you are probably as aware as I am that not every problem can be fixed with a piece of number 8 fencing wire, especially when it comes to issues of the heart. 

I am blessed to have a great support network around me―my hubby, my parents, and a couple of friends who are there for me no matter what. But I know this is not the case for thousands of kiwi women out there, who are struggling through life on their own. More often than not, I’m in a hurry. I have to get the shopping done and get home in time for the baby’s nap, or any number of priorities, and I miss the opportunities that are around me every day to reach out to others. This month I’m making a fresh commitment to live life with my head up, my eyes open, and my hand outstretched, looking to see if there are other women who may be in need of a helping hand. 

In the month of June, abortion was thrown into the public spotlight with a High Court judge questioning the legality of many abortions in New Zealand.

I was interested in the debate this caused under the ‘Your Views’ section of the New Zealand Herald website. The most powerful comments were the ones from women who had undergone abortions themselves. It made me sad to read of precious New Zealand women, scared and confused, and at a very vulnerable time of their lives, being made to feel that abortion was the only option.

One woman told how the counsellor laughed at her when she asked about adoption and a nurse yelled at her for being indecisive about a date for the abortion. Another told how she had decided to keep the baby but was later persuaded by a counsellor to have the abortion. (And we accuse the pro-lifers of having ‘ideological bias’!) It made me wonder whether things would have been different if only someone had come alongside these women, put their arm around them, and said, “Hey, you can keep this child, and I’m here to walk with you through the journey.”

You may be reading this and considering an abortion this month. I would love to take this opportunity to extend my heartfelt love and support to you. Be the gutsy chick you know you are on the inside, and stand up to the pressure you may face from the ‘system’. Ask questions, and don’t stop until you get the answers you want. Consider all the options. Don’t allow yourself to be backed into a corner by anyone. Hop online to Pregnancy Counselling Services at www.pcs.org.nz for a bunch of volunteer kiwi women who are ready to support you.

Or you may be reading and know of someone going through this decision-making process, or someone who has been through it. How can you reach out to them and make a difference in their world this week? Facing an abortion is just one example of the countless struggles that women around you may be going through. Let’s make a decision this month to band together and support each other through whatever is going on―good or bad. Who do you know who’s struggling this week, or facing a major decision? Who can you reach out to in your area? Your smile, your sensitivity, your help, your attention, could be the difference between hope and despair for another woman in your neighbourhood. Let’s be looking out for each other, because I’ve found that this journey of life is so much better when I’m walking it hand in hand with others.