The Deadly Sin of Discontentment
(From the 7 Deadly Sins)
Yvonne Godfrey copyright March 2009
The valley or the winter of discontent – the gnawing feeling that life should be better than it is. The discontent woman may feel numb, agitated, claustrophobic, confused or simply duped! Is discontentment a good thing or a bad thing? Read on.......
Comparison leading to envy or greed
It would seem that the Media’s goal is to make you believe that the whole world is having a ball while you merely exist. Who can win the comparison game? Envy - the green eyed monster is alive and well, driving us on with jealousy. We know that the airbrushed models aren’t real – but still we cannot resist standing in the supermarket to read about the latest beauty discovery. At least one consolation of the ‘torture ourselves for free’ read, is that we dont have to buy the magazine. A little different to envy, greed is insatiable! A Wise man 'Agur' in King Solomon's time wrote; there are four things that are never satisfied; the grave, the barren womb, land which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, ‘Enough!’
Richard Olivier (Sir Lawrence Olivier’s son) uses what he calls Mythodrama to teach leadership, through the acting out of Shakespearean plays. Citing the ruthless Macbeth, Richard says, “You can never get enough of what you dont really want”.
If pursuing more and more money, success, fame, food, sex or alcohol for example doesn’t bring fulfilment, perhaps you are seeking the wrong thing.
Rebellion or ignorance leading to wrong choices
Haven’t we all gone against sound advice and made decisions we regret? In the 1960’s and 1970’s – if a girl became pregnant, it was common for her parents to utter, ‘You have made your bed and now you must lie in it’. (I thought that was a funny thing to say since that’s how she got into trouble in the first place). Still, the expression remains a clear warning that our choices set the future.
Unfulfilled expectations and Difficult Seasons
Sadly, some things are never going to be. ‘Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick’. There are also difficult seasons to be ridden out with no explanation. It’s just part of life’s package, like parenting children at a certain age, or performing a role you find difficult or tedious. The season eventually passes and life does exist on the other side of the tunnel.
The ability to graciously endure this time of discontentment can be a tremendous character building block.
Catalyst for Change
On the plus side, think of all the positive advancements that have been brought on by those who are discontent and are willing to change the status quo. Nothing stays the same and as life is made up of seasons, so all seasons come to an end in order to make way for the new.
Discontentment throws us off balance, causing us to see a new perspective of how things really are and more importantly, how they could be. Slowly but surely, this unease builds invisible momentum, just like a tidal wave hiding on the ocean floor gathering strength. Put in female terms, discontentment could be likened to labour. The contraction is intense one minute, and gone the next. We go through it for the promise at the other end. And just like the baby which appears in the birth canal and then sometimes slips back, so this transition (discontent) time helps us to prepare for what is coming.
How will you deal with your discontentment?
Is your inner world rumbling? Life is constantly changing and evolving and so must we. In order to treat our discontentment appropriately, we need to take total responsibility for our attitudes and emotions. Pay attention! Denial doesnt work! You can’t bury discontentment alive! Eventually it finds its way to the surface in anxiety leading to depression or aggression.
Likewise, dont leap on your situation to change it, if you have an attitude problem, or are going through a difficult stage of life. It’s best to change things by evolution, rather than create a revolution which can cause carnage and irreversible effects.
Three steps for dealing with discontentment
1. Put it in writing
It may be hard to articulate, but things look different once out of your head and on to paper. Keep asking yourself why each thing you write down bothers you until you get to the real crux of the matter. You may be very surprised at what you find out!.
2. Be Grateful
Try switching your focus off your problem and onto being thankful for what is good and working well. Gratitude brings great perspective. Appreciation softens and fills the heart allowing no space for resentment which is a totally destructive emotion.
3. Examine your motives and attitude before choosing your course of action
Things will never be perfect in this world or in our lives. I believe that happiness and contentment are largely attitudes which must be developed passionately. Let’s learn to be content and grateful for what we have while working towards what we want.
And lastly, give me the courage to change what I can, to accept what I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference.
